Decode the Mystery: Dating Tips from Mars Venus Dating

You can be finicky, but don’t be foolish

You can be your own worst enemy when it comes to online dating. If your demands for a partner are too stringent or the window of opportunity is open only a tiny bit, you’re bound to miss out on a few folks with serious relationship potential.

While your standards are your standards and there is nothing wrong with knowing what you want, the great thing about online dating is that you can discover you may like something you didn’t originally think would peak your interest. Never considered yourself the outdoorsy type? Maybe you grew up in the city and just never had a partner who spent their weekends hiking, biking, or picnicking. If you click with someone in all ways but they seem to be more of a Mother Nature-lover than you, banish thoughts of, “They’re too granola for me.” Throw a backpack on your back and pack those energy bars—you might just like what the fresh air has to offer, and the person who is introducing it to you.

All this being said, no one expects you to change your lifestyle just to suit a potential online match. But there are times when your finicky self might have to relax on how you eliminate possible connections. For example, if you say you’re looking for someone who has black or dark brown hair only, you’ve totally limited yourself. What if the love match of your dreams is a redhead? You could have missed him or her completely by eliminating this option right from the start.

Maybe you’re only looking for people in a four-year age range, or you’re hoping to meet someone in their late twenties who has an advanced degree and a secure job. You’ve gotta give people a few years to accomplish their goals. And on this note, if you say you only want to meet a doctor or lawyer, superficial concerns will freak out any potential match. Besides, your best match might design board games for a living and make six figures—but you’d never know it if you were only looking for the JDs and PhDs out there. Offer up the non-negotiables, but be a little lenient on the physical characteristics, hobbies, occupations, or incomes that don’t quite match your ideal.